07-29-03 - 12:03 AM

Every time I think my life is going great, something comes along to completely bring me down. You know, it doesn't even have to be something completely relevant to even me, but I just get completely depressed and down on myself.

I KNOW I could be out having fun if I could just accept the fact that I have to initiate it.

I never phone anyone, and it always proves to be my downfall.

Man. I shouldn't wallow in my own Misery. I pretend things are worse than they are, just to make things seem worse, and get myself more depressed. Story of my life, eh?

But hey, if I don't complain here, i'll just be going around it in my head, and what fun is that?

Eh..

Whatever.

All I know is I have three days off left...I better do something all three days or i'll be really pissed/sad.

My parents decided to take me out a while after dinner today, thus depriving me of hanging out with rachel, which made me angry. Bah.

What I say is this: I am very bored usually. It happens in the summer.

You think things would get easier in time, but no. Just gets harder. Always harder.

It's like you're trying to climb a mountain, and it just keeps growing, and people just appear and push you down.

Ok, bad analogy, but still. you understand.

I better go before I wallow so deep in self-pity that I drown.

Crap, i'm so useless.

What the hell is wrong with me? Oh, I know.

I whine way too much.

I should be happy with what I have.

That's what I'm going to try and do. Be happier. No more whining. Starting now.

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